“It’s not a religion; it’s a relationship.” If you’re serious about following and loving Jesus, you’ll never say this phrase again.
Some time ago, I saw the religious people around me as hypocrites. Therefore, the first time I heard the phrase, “It’s not a religion; it’s a relationship,” I clung to it. Religion, it seemed, was all about checking boxes, following rituals, and leaving sincerity behind to rot in the ditch. Plus, aren’t the leaders of most organized religions corrupt?
When I read the New Testament with this lens on, I saw the Pharisees as religious and part of “the institution,” and the true disciples of Jesus as having a relationship. Perhaps you do too. You’ve been burned by religion, you’ve been church hurt, and you’re left in trusting in Jesus alone, because you know He’ll never treat you the way a church or a group of “Christians” did.
I get it. I really do. However, I realized by following Jesus that this religion vs. relationship thing is a false dilemma. The Bible presents discipleship to Jesus as both a relationship and a religion. If you don’t have the true religion, you don’t have a relationship with Jesus. If you don’t have a relationship with Jesus, you don’t have the true religion. Please give me a few moments to explain.
First, let’s address the phrase “personal relationship with Jesus.” As much as you’ll find people’s entire worldviews built upon it, you’ll also find many people who have a problem with the phrase, “I have a personal relationship with Jesus.” Why do people have a problem with it? No one in Scripture is ever explicitly told to develop a personal relationship with Jesus. You just can’t find this phrase in Scripture. However, the concept of a personal relationship is there. In John 10, Jesus presents Himself as the Good Shepherd who knows His sheep. If you belong to Jesus, He knows you personally. If you truly follow Him, you know Him too. However, many people have been deceived into believing that all a sinner has to do is sincerely say a quick prayer, and that begins their personal relationship with Jesus. That’s false. More on that later.
What is religion? Jesus had no problem with the word or concept of religion. He was religious, and He belonged to a religion. Although more complicated definitions are out there, a religion is simply believing and following a set of teachings that pertain to a god or gods. religion is simply believing and following a set of teachings that pertain to a god or gods. Do you believe in the Bible? Do you believe in the God of the Bible? Congratulations! You have a religion! But why do so many people have a problem with the word today? Two reasons come to mind. There’s this false notion that Jesus somehow came to release people from the commandments of God, as if obedience became irrelevant when Jesus provided grace and mercy. And second, just like in Jesus’ time, there are those today who say they follow a religion, but they really don’t.
Notice Jesus’ interaction with the Pharisees and scribes in Mark 7:5–13.
Then the Pharisees and scribes asked Him, “Why do Your disciples not walk according to the tradition of the elders, but eat bread with unwashed hands?” He answered and said to them, “Well did Isaiah prophesy of you hypocrites, as it is written: ‘This people honors Me with their lips, But their heart is far from Me. And in vain they worship Me, Teaching as doctrines the commandments of men.’ For laying aside the commandment of God, you hold the tradition of men—the washing of pitchers and cups, and many other such things you do.” He said to them, “All too well you reject the commandment of God, that you may keep your tradition. For Moses said, ‘Honor your father and your mother’; and, He who curses father or mother, let him be put to death.’ But you say, ‘If a man says to his father or mother, “Whatever profit you might have received from me is Corban”—’ (that is, a gift to God), then you no longer let him do anything for his father or his mother, making the word of God of no effect through your tradition which you have handed down. And many such things you do.”
Mark 7:5–13
The most widely-known fact about these Pharisees is that they were hypocrites. Jesus explains to them that, according to their religion, they were supposed to honor their parents. But in order to avoid this responsibility, they donated their extra money to the temple, neglecting their parents for basically a tax write-off. They were so interested in binding their religious (but not biblical) traditions, such as hand-washing rituals, that they didn’t take the time to consider how clean their insides were. Their lips said the right things, but their hearts were corrupt. On another occasion, Jesus calls them out, and I imagine you and I have met people just like this:
Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you cleanse the outside of the cup and dish, but inside they are full of extortion and self-indulgence. Blind Pharisee, first cleanse the inside of the cup and dish, that the outside of them may be clean also. Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you are like whitewashed tombs which indeed appear beautiful outwardly, but inside are full of dead men’s bones and all uncleanness. Even so you also outwardly appear righteous to men, but inside you are full of hypocrisy and lawlessness.
Matthew 23:25–28
To be clear, Jesus had no problem with the fact that they looked religious. Obedience is a fundamental part of discipleship. He commends the idea of looking correct on the outside. What He condemns is the disconnect between their outside and their inside. Do you know people who are like this? They say they follow Christ, but even the most worldly people around them can see through the charade. In effect, they use Jesus to look good, but in reality, they make Him look bad.
So, the response is, “If that’s religion, I want nothing to do with it.” But what is the disenchanted person to do if they still want Jesus? If religion isn’t the answer, then what is? Yes, it’s true that religious people sometimes misrepresent Jesus and live worse lives than the unbelievers around them. This reality reminds me of the time I was in a progressive alternative rock band (this was a different band I mentioned in the lesson on the gift of tongues). When we played shows, among our original music, we sometimes threw in some cover songs. On one occasion, we covered a Johnny Cash song, and on another, we even did an Ashlee Simpson song, putting our own alternative rock spin on each of them. Whether or not people enjoyed our versions of the songs, it would not be reasonable to judge Johnny Cash or Ashlee Simpson based on our portrayals of them. To make an honest judgment, you have to go back to the source. The same goes for Christianity. Multiple times the Bible uses the word religion, and it’s never used as a bad word by itself. In fact, in one case, true religion is presented as a supreme goal in life (see James 1:21–27). In Christianity, you have a set of beliefs and teachings about God you are expected to follow and live out every day. Biblically speaking, Christianity (discipleship to Jesus) is a religion. But if you’ve been burned by Christians, just know that Christians are imperfect, and even the most sincere ones of us make mistakes. We’re trying to reproduce His life and works, but we’re sometimes not that good at it. (That’s why we need a Savior, isn’t it?) So when we fail, look to Jesus, who is the author and perfecter of our faith. Don’t judge Him based on the bad covers people sometime put out. Don’t throw away the idea of religion just because some religious folks are hypocrites.
Here’s another thing we can learn about Jesus’ interactions with the Pharisees, Sadducees, Zealots, and Herodians. The original religion involved being a child of God and a descendant of Abraham. You can read all about it in the Old Testament Scriptures. Yet, by the time the first century had rolled around, Judaism had splintered into denominations that are not mentioned at all in the Old Testament. Which of the Jewish denominations was right? Which one did Jesus align Himself to? None. Absolutely none. Instead, He called people out of their denominations to come to Him. He never called someone to become a Pharisee or Sadducee. He called them to become disciples. Another reason why folks have blasphemed Christ and Christianity is all the division they see around them. I once was knocking on doors, asking folks to study the Bible with me, and I met a man named Philip who said he had given up on trying to find Jesus. He was raised Catholic, his wife was Pentecostal, and his workmates were Baptists. “Religion is just too confusing,” he said, “and I just can’t see Jesus approving of all this division.”
Philip was absolutely right. There is zero authority in the New Testament for people to come along and start new “versions” of Christianity. You won’t read of a single denomination in the Bible with God’s approval. Instead, Jesus calls people out of their splinter groups to His own body, which is united. He never called a single person to become a Catholic, Pentecostal, Baptist, or whatever. He called them to the pure and true religion—Himself. He prayed:
I do not pray for these alone, but also for those who will believe in Me through their word; that they all may be one, as You, Father, are in Me, and I in You; that they also may be one in Us, that the world may believe that You sent Me. And the glory which You gave Me I have given them, that they may be one just as We are one: I in them, and You in Me; that they may be made perfect in one, and that the world may know that You have sent Me, and have loved them as You have loved Me.
John 17:20–23
Did you catch the key word there? Jesus prays for His disciples to be united as one. But as it is, many people who call themselves Christians try to parade their denomination around as an accurate representation of Jesus and His New Testament church. But the world can see through that charade. Since they can’t read of these denominations in their Bibles, they feel driven to cling to blasphemous phrases like, “It’s not a religion; it’s a relationship.”
Here’s how Jesus tied His religion and relationship together:
Not everyone who says to Me, “Lord, Lord,” shall enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of My Father in heaven. Many will say to Me in that day, “Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in Your name, cast out demons in Your name, and done many wonders in Your name?” And then I will declare to them, “I never knew you; depart from Me, you who practice lawlessness!”
Matthew 7:21–23
These people were religious, but they didn’t have a relationship. Yet even their religion wasn’t accurate, as Jesus implies they were not doing the will of the Father. He directly said they were practicing lawlessness. Is obedience important? 100%. True religion matters to God. Is it all about checking boxes and “being religious”? Clearly not. You must also have that relationship with Jesus. He must know you.
Another thing that comes from this false dilemma is this phrase: “We’re saved by faith alone in Jesus alone through grace alone.” Have you ever heard something like that? If so, you’ll not want to miss this study, where we discover from the Bible how unbiblical it is to believe we are saved by faith alone.