Among Christians, pornography is becoming an increasing issue, and it’s more and more difficult to avoid. Yet it’s seemingly discussed less and less. If pornography has become part of your life, but you’re ready to be rid of it, you may feel alone in this struggle. You may wonder how to take the first step of a seemingly impossible journey. This lesson will help you if you’re young or old, male or female, and in it, we will study ten things you as a Christian can do to quit porn today. Ten things?! Do you wondered if it’s worth your time? If you’re serious about quitting porn, I think you’ll find what the Bible has to say invaluable to your sexual health.
1. See porn for what it truly is
If you’ve come to this article for yourself, then it’s safe to say you carry a lot of shame around this habit. You suspect you’re addicted. But perhaps you’re afraid to finally come to grips with the fact that porn has a grip on you. Long before 12-step programs wisely included it as a first step, the Bible has been saying it all along. If you have a problem, admit it. No more skirting around. No more treating this like a dirty little secret. You need to lay this fact on the table and deal with it.
If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
1 John 1:8–9
Let your fountain be blessed,
Proverbs 5:18
And rejoice with the wife of your youth.
For a harlot is a deep pit,
Proverbs 23:27–28
And a seductress is a narrow well.
She also lies in wait as for a victim,
And increases the unfaithful among men.
The sexual satisfaction healthy spouses provide each other is compared to a fountain of fresh and quenching water. On the other hand, the itch a prostitute tries to scratch is a trap and is like drinking water from a ditch or a stagnant, mosquito-infested well.
Sex and sexuality are good, God-given things, and they are to be experienced in the context of God-ordained marriage, where spouses both take and give. While married, couples enjoy intimacy, which requires vulnerability, as well as sacrifice. It takes work, but it is well worth it. Because of the work required, many people have tried to cheat themselves, others, and even God in their sexuality. Porn is cheap (figuratively speaking—as a multi-billion dollar industry, it can actually be quite costly). Porn is easy. In marriage, you love and are loved, as well as see while being seen. With pornography, you poorly attempt the first part and never experience the second part. Porn is a toxic substitute for God-intended intimacy within marriage. You don’t have to be married to know this is true. You don’t have to taste fountain water to know that ditchwater is disgusting. If porn fully satisfied us intimately, and if it was truly part of God’s design for sexuality, we wouldn’t feel the shame, disgust, and addiction that come with it.
Porn exploits men and women and leaves them unsatisfied, still longing for true and meaningful relationships. So, are you ready to stop drinking from the ditch?
2. Realize what porn does to your mind and behavior
Instead of truly satisfying you sexually, when you participate in porn—yes, participate; you’re not a passive viewer; you’re actively using the people who you’ve paid to pose—these 5 things happen:
1. Your understanding of human interaction and relationship is perverted. You begin viewing people’s bodies as simply an object and a means to get that next fix. There are chemicals released into the body when you view porn, and it creates a temporary feeling of ecstasy. You’re reducing a person’s value as a means to an end—and an unworthy end at that. You’re treating them like a drug.
2. Related to that, porn denies the spiritual side of things. You wrench away people’s inherent eternal value and boil them down to being a piece of meat. The Christian is supposed to have new eyes.
He died for all, that those who live should live no longer for themselves, but for Him who died for them and rose again. Therefore, from now on, we regard no one according to the flesh. Even though we have known Christ according to the flesh, yet now we know Him thus no longer. Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.
2 Corinthians 5:15–17
Porn dehumanizes and treats people as animals.
3. In Matthew 5, Jesus says when you view porn, you commit adultery in your heart.
4. You train your body to depend on it (in other words, you become addicted). More specifically, internet porn floods your brain with dopamine and causes you to crave more. When dopamine is released, it imprints the experience on your brain to remind you to keep coming back for more. Scientists have discovered that the use of internet porn causes higher levels of dopamine to be released in the brain than anything else known to man, including actual sex. Therefore, not only does porn sensitize you, but it also desensitizes you from everything else.
And that’s what often leads to shame, lying, mistrust, and possible financial problems. The people involved in porn don’t care about you. They care about your money, regardless of the destruction they cause in your life.
5. While porn is in your life, it is impossible for you to have a healthy sexual relationship. If you’re married, God expects you to drink deeply from the fountain He has given you. Porn always poisons the well. And if you’re not married, and you would like to be one day, you’re robbing your future spouse from having a husband or wife with a free and pure heart, and possibly a healthy body since porn-induced erectile dysfunction affects an estimated one third of young men 30 and under.
Given that porn is so destructive and addictive, you may find yourself thinking that it is impossible to quit. Perhaps you’ve tried before. I imagine this isn’t the first online resource you’ve sought to help you. Is it impossible to quit? No! I am sure for two reasons: First, quitting a destructive, sinful behavior is in line with the gospel. Jesus both commands and offers to help you to do so. If He commands it, it is possible. Second, I know men and women who thought it impossible, yet when they trusted in God, He delivered them. My friend, it is possible to quit porn.
In 1 Corinthians 6, Paul says that the sexually immoral person cannot inherit the kingdom of God. He uses the Greek word πόρνος (“pornos”—can you guess where we get the word porn from?). Now notice what Paul says next:
And such were some of you. But you were washed, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus and by the Spirit of our God.
1 Corinthians 6:11
These people used to have lives defined by sexual sin. They may have even thought it impossible to quit. But you’re reminded that by the washing, sanctification, justification, and name of God, you can be freed.
But it’s worth noting that, although generally speaking, this passage applies to the one living with porn addiction, more specifically, however, we’re dealing with a different monster in the twenty-first century. The Christians in the first century were not battling sexual sin in the digital age. In other words, joining yourself to a temple prostitute or sneaking around at night were difficult or risky things to do. Of course, people still participated in fornication and adultery. Today, however, we’re battling compounded addictions with easy hits. Everyone has a phone on them at all times (which can be addictive by itself). And what you do with your phone or computer screen never requires public activity, never requires you to leave the privacy of a bedroom or bathroom.
As difficult as it’s going to be, the Holy Spirit assures you that you can look forward to the Scripture saying this about your addiction: “And such were some of you…” Therefore, next, you need to…
3. Consider the stakes
I believe if you knew the next time you logged onto that porn site or app your phone or computer would explode, destroying you and everyone in your home, you probably wouldn’t do it. If you were about to log onto that site, and you found out a livestream camera was on you, broadcasting to all social media outlets, you probably wouldn’t do it. Why not? The stakes would be too high. You’re not willing to face that devastation or embarrassment. If you wouldn’t do it in those situations, then you can have self-control in other situations. But you say, “That’s not realistic. That’s not gonna happen to me.” Maybe not, but the Scriptures say the stakes are actually higher.
You have heard that it was said to those of old, “You shall not commit adultery.” But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to sin, pluck it out and cast it from you; for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for your whole body to be cast into hell. And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and cast it from you; for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for your whole body to be cast into hell.
Matthew 5:27–30
Porn is wrong because lust is wrong (among other things). When you think of defeating porn, don’t just have in mind defeating the active looking at porn. Defeat lust in the heart totally. You can’t look at this passage and tell yourself the stakes aren’t high. Jesus says lust can lead to hell.
For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, that each one may receive the things done in the body, according to what he has done, whether good or bad.
2 Corinthians 5:10
The stakes are high, my friend. And I believe if you and I truly understood this, we would always have a motivation to not sin. You may respond, “But I do understand that, yet I continue to turn to porn.” Why is that? Scientists have discovered that porn addiction actually shrinks the frontal lobe of the brain, which is the part of you that houses your conscience. This is what the Bible calls having your “conscience seared with a hot iron” (1 Timothy 4:2).
Doctors are discovering what the Bible has been saying all along: there is a constant battle between the flesh and the Spirit (see Romans 8 and Galatians 5).Satan will do all he can to make it difficult to be led by the Spirit and easy to fulfill the desires of the flesh. The Christian’s conscience is to be shaped by Jesus and His word, but every time you’ve snubbed Jesus and pursued self interest, you’ve seared your conscience. If the part of you that makes moral and ethical decisions is literally shrinking, you must double-down and follow through with the following points. Therefore, you need to…
4. Repent
Repentance is all about changing your mind. If your mind is changed, your actions will follow. There are so many sources out there that are trying to help you minimize sin. They begin with trying to make you feel better about yourself. It’s the old, “There, there; it’s okay. Everyone makes mistakes” line. Listen: Yes, it’s true that everyone has sinned. Yes, it’s true millions of people participate in porn everyday. But “There, there; it’s not okay!” Sin is not okay. It will never become okay because more and more people do it. What makes it more difficult is when some famous people or people placed in authority claim that porn participation is a normal and fine practice. You and I know that what it’s doing to you is not fine. What has it done to Jesus?
1 Corinthians 15 says, “Christ died for our sins.” Every time we give in to temptation—every time we sin—we give Jesus another reason to die. Humbly look at Jesus on the cross and allow that image to soften your heart. Allow the cost of your sin to lead you to godly sorrow.
For godly sorrow produces repentance leading to salvation, not to be regretted; but the sorrow of the world produces death.
2 Corinthians 7:10
I once was studying the Bible with a lady on the topic of sin, and she said, “I’m starting to feel like rubbish about my sin.” Good. That’s a vital initial response. When someone participates in abusive behavior like porn, it’s good and natural for them to feel guilty. But what will that feeling of guilt lead to? Be ruled by the flesh, and you begin to feel unredeemable, and you check out and turn on auto-pilot.. You indulge more, thinking, “What difference does one more time make?” You self-medicate. But the prescription of the Lord is to let your feeling of guilt turn into godly sorrow.
Salvation is not possible unless you repent. Repentance is not possible unless you allow the death of Jesus for your sins to melt you into godly sorrow.
You already feel terrible about this habit. That’s why you’re reading this article. But is your feeling of guilt properly focused? It’s not just sorrow. The rich young ruler went away from Jesus sorrowful. He felt bad, but that sorrow turned him away from Jesus. It’s godly sorrow that leads to repentance.
5. Flee pornography
In 1 Corinthians 6:18–20, using that word πορνεία (“porneia”), Paul says:
Flee sexual immorality.
(In your case, he would say, flee pornography…) He goes on:
Every sin that a man [this is the word for mankind, so this applies to males and females] does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality [πορνεία, illicit sex] sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own? For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God’s.
1 Corinthians 6:18–20
You read that right. Flee! Run away. There are times that fighting is not the answer. Don’t stick around when you’re tempted with lust. Flee! Your body was created to house God. By the way, so was that person who appears on that porn site. Their body was not made for your fleeting pleasure. It was created to be the temple of God.
It’s difficult to flee pornography when it constantly chases you. As I was researching this topic, I noticed my feed on social media changing. The algorithm suddenly thought I wanted this stuff in my life. Things I never would have known are out there started popping up as suggestions and ads. Satan is crafty, and he uses this stuff against us. Although it’s coming at you from every direction, you must flee. So you ask, “If it’s coming from every direction, how can I run away?” Every direction, except Godward. There’s only one place to flee: the sanctuary of God.
The name of the LORD is a strong tower;
Proverbs 18:10
The righteous run to it and are safe.
We’ll elaborate on that more in a moment.
Practically speaking, how do you run away from porn? Here are seven things to do:
1. Get out of bad company.
Do not be deceived: “Evil company corrupts good habits.” Awake to righteousness, and do not sin; for some do not have the knowledge of God.
1 Corinthians 15:33–34
Don’t keep company with family members, friends, and colleagues who use perverted language and are also stuck in the same trap you are. If they don’t have the knowledge of God, they will not help you; they’ll hinder you, even if it’s not their intention.
2. Stay away from Hollywood’s “soft core” stuff. You may think you’re mature or strong enough to handle those edgy films or shows, but Satan will use them to tempt you and destroy any progress you’ve made so far.
But each one is tempted when he is drawn away by his own desires and enticed. Then, when desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, brings forth death.
James 1:14–15
If it’s a source of temptation, it can literally kill you. If it’s tempting you, cancel the streaming services. Society tries to convince you that you need Netflix and Hollywood in your life. But you don’t.
3. It goes without saying you need to avoid those porn sites and apps. But how do you do that? At least delete any accounts and apps you have associated with porn. Unsubscribe from email newsletters or change your email address all together. But it might also mean trading your smart phone in for what some people call a “dumb phone”—one that can only call and text. No internet. No pictures. No videos.
All things are lawful for me, but all things are not helpful. All things are lawful for me, but I will not be brought under the power of any.
1 Corinthians 6:12
Is it inherently wrong for you to have a phone and access to the internet? Of course not. But if it’s hurting you spiritually, although I know—I know—how crazy and difficult this sounds, you need to come to grips that internet access is not necessary in your life. You need to sacrifice it. Cut it off.
4. Go to bed.
You are all sons of light and sons of the day. We are not of the night nor of darkness. Therefore let us not sleep, as others do, but let us watch and be sober. For those who sleep, sleep at night, and those who get drunk are drunk at night. But let us who are of the day be sober, putting on the breastplate of faith and love, and as a helmet the hope of salvation.
1 Thessalonians 5:4–8
Spiritually speaking, we should stay awake. But physically, our bodies need rest. The people I know who struggle with porn say their biggest temptations come at night. Commit to being a person of the day from now on. For some people, work schedules might make this difficult. If that’s the case with you, the principle is the same: when it’s time for bed, go to bed. When you’re drowsy, but you’re letting a screen keep you awake, that’s when Satan sets his trap. That’s when loneliness creeps in. That’s when auto-pilot says it’s time to self-medicate. One thing you must do from now on to help you quit porn today is keep your phone in a completely different room when you go to bed. If it’s right there on your nightstand, you’re going to bed next to temptation. You may now be saying, “But that’s my alarm clock!” To which I lovingly reply, “Stop making excuses.” Old school alarm clocks are inexpensive and just as effective.
5. If you choose to remain on social media, reclaim your accounts. If you’re serious about quitting porn, unfollow those who are hindering you in your walk with Christ. You may have begun following them because you like their music, vlogs, movies, or whatever. But if they aren’t helping you, unfollow, unsubscribe, and block them. Because you’ve clicked on ads and followed certain people, search engines and social media think you want this type of stuff in your life. But you don’t anymore, so the next time a toxic ad or suggestion comes across your feed, without hesitation, tap that X, and begin training the algorithm that you’re no longer interested in that junk.
6. Learn to divert your eyes. You can’t control what other people wear (or don’t wear). But when someone is immodestly dressed, divert your eyes to prevent evil thoughts popping into your mind. And when evil thoughts do come unbidden, don’t feed them with your attention. Starve them to death. Be the type of person who is “bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ” (2 Corinthians 10:5).
7. Identify and avoid any other triggers. We are all tempted by our own lusts, and so you need to find out specifically what triggers you into running toward porn (you probably already know some of them), and you need to flee when they come your way.
6. Develop a meaningful relationship with God
If you’re drowning, and you see a boat in the distance, you don’t stop and think how you can ask for help in the most eloquent way. You simply yell for help as quickly and loudly as you can. That’s how we shout out to God from the depths of struggle and addiction. God can hear all our prayers, no matter how short or long, no matter how abrupt or eloquent.
However, if emergency prayers define your prayer life, something is wrong. When the drowning stranger is brought to safety, he doesn’t continue shouting one-syllable words into the faces of those who loved him enough to reach into the water. Similarly, even though you may not feel saved from drowning yet, you know God is reaching down. You know He loves you.
God looks down from heaven upon the children of men,
Psalm 53:2
To see if there are any who understand, who seek God.
So, in addition to shouting out for help, seek God. One way to do that is:
7. Read and apply Scripture
Take your attention span captive, grab a Bible, and read God’s word. Part of taking your attention span captive means doing this with a physical Bible, not a Bible app on your phone—your phone that’s going to try to convince you there’s something more important right now than reading God’s word, even if it is as innocent as a text message. Right now, you have something else to focus on.
In Matthew 12, Jesus talks about when an unclean spirit goes out of a man. It wants to return, and if it finds the spot where it once was in the man’s life still vacant, the unclean spirit will come back with seven spirits worse than itself. I’m not sure exactly how parabolic Jesus is being here, but the point is clear: Discipleship is not just about quitting the bad things. We must replace them with eternally positive things.
How can a young man cleanse his way?
Psalm 119:9–11
By taking heed according to Your word.
With my whole heart I have sought You;
Oh, let me not wander from Your commandments!
Your word I have hidden in my heart,
That I might not sin against You.
In Matthew 4 and Luke 4, Jesus overcame temptation over and over by this practice. He relied on God’s word which was hidden in His heart. You can too. To be free from porn, listen to Jesus: “If you abide in My word, you are My disciples indeed” (John 8:31).
To abide is to live. You must live in His word. That’s more than just reading an inspirational verse here and there. Read entire books of the Bible. Apply chunks of the New Testament. Follow Jesus around in the gospel accounts. Become one who lives in God’s word. Jesus promises:
If you abide in My word, you are My disciples indeed. And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free… Whoever commits sin is a slave of sin… If the Son makes you free, you shall be free indeed.
John 8:31–36
8. Pray
Hey, don’t think of a squirrel riding a bicycle. Oops, what happened? You thought of a skillful squirrel, didn’t you? That’s what it’s like to try to fight addiction alone. The more you tell yourself, “Don’t think about it!” the more it grinds away at your self-control. But with prayer, you’ve shifted your focus from “don’t do it” to entering the throne room of God, where He promises to provide help in time of need. When you flee from porn, don’t just run away into the dark; run into sanctuary. Go to God. And you cannot be a person classified as one who seeks Him without devout prayer in your life.
One of the shortest verses in the Bible says, “pray without ceasing” (1 Thessalonians 5:17). You can’t literally pray all day and all night long, but you can have a life defined by prayer. You can be one who always prays. When Jesus’ friends had difficulty obeying, He told them, “Watch and pray, lest you enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak” (Matthew 26:41).
In context, this prayer was not a hasty “Thanks, God!” or “God, help me!” Jesus left them to watch and pray for an hour. A healthy relationship with God involves prayer. Confess your sins. Ask for His help. With a penitent heart, ask Him to free you of porn. Ask Him to open your eyes to the life He wants for you. And while you’re at it, glorify Him.
9. Fellowship
Part of the life God wants for you is a life in His church. Go to your brothers and sisters. Get off YouTube. Turn off your phone. Go spend time with other believers who will help you.
This is where we mention getting an accountability partner. Here’s how it’s often suggested: Get an accountability partner—someone who will text or call you every day while you’re struggling. That’s a good start, but it’s also a bit too simple. You need several people to share life with—people to connect with over common interests, people with a high level of devotion to God, people who you can confide in. And when it’s time to confess and pray, what better people to do it with than those who understand the mercy and forgiveness of God?
In Acts 8, a new Christian named Simon is spending time with the apostles, and he sins against God. Peter then tells him:
your heart is not right in the sight of God. Repent therefore of this your wickedness, and pray God if perhaps the thought of your heart may be forgiven you.
Acts 8:21
We’ve already seen how repentance and prayer is part of the process to quitting porn. But would Simon have received this rebuke if he wasn’t spending time with brothers who cared for him?
Then Simon answered and said, “Pray to the Lord for me, that none of the things which you have spoken may come upon me.”
Acts 8:24
Simon didn’t deny the effectiveness of repentance and prayer. But he didn’t want to be alone while doing so. He asked for Peter to join him on this journey. The church isn’t some social club. It is the body of Christ.
And if one member suffers, all the members suffer with it; or if one member is honored, all the members rejoice with it.
1 Corinthians 12:26
As an amazing bonus to this, when you are set free from porn, you’ll be able to help others later on.
And the Lord said, “Simon, Simon! Indeed, Satan has asked for you, that he may sift you as wheat. But I have prayed for you, that your faith should not fail; and when you have returned to Me, strengthen your brethren.”
Luke 22:31–32
10. Get professional help
I can already hear some of the objections: “If you have God, you don’t need help from ‘professionals.’ If you have the church, you don’t need medical facilities. If you have Scripture, you don’t need a shrink’s advice.”
We’re not talking about taking your spirit and relationship with God and trusting it in the hands of a worldly doctor. No, this tenth point can actually be seen as an extension of the previous point: fellowship with other believers. Seek the help from a professional who also has the knowledge of God.
Allow me to illustrate this with less extreme factors. God’s church has a diverse membership. Meaning, Christians have a variety of skills and interests. This is certainly true on a worldwide scale, and it’s usually true on a local scale too. If I have car trouble, there’s often someone in the church who can help me, at least a little bit. If I enjoy playing board games, hiking, or photography, I can usually find someone in the church who does too. God has blessed us all with a variety of gifts and interests. If I can seek help for a computer problem from someone in the church, can I not also seek out a brother or sister’s help who has gone to school for and professionally helps people with addiction?
Ask anyone who has gone through addiction and come out on the other side with freedom. Most of them will likely admit it was the hardest thing they’ve ever gone through. Of course, they’ll say it was worth the grueling effort, the discipline, the prayer, and the accountability. Most of them will also admit they could not have done so without the help of a professional of some kind. No shame or guilt should ever come with seeking the help of others—people whom God has equipped to assist you.
Although we have presented ten things in this article you can do to quit porn, I hope you have already realized this isn’t just a checklist. In fact, some of these things can’t be “checked” at all, as if they are things you have “done” and can move on from. These are things you’ve got to add to your daily life. A meaningful relationship with God, a devout prayer life, and fellowship in the church are things you want to characterize you, not something you want to be done with.
Now you’ve got the ten things you can do today to quit porn, one final tip we’ll give you is this:
There are chemicals released into the body and brain when you view porn, which create a feeling of ecstasy. When you stop doing this, your body will crave it more and more. It’s going to be very difficult at first. That’s the understatement of the year. Satan is going to buffet you as long as he can; it won’t be just at first. It’ll be every step of the way. But eventually, you will notice it getting easier and easier to avoid porn. Praise God! And take care, because this is perhaps when Satan will hit you hardest. Beware of overconfidence!
In Luke 4, we read of Jesus’ temptations in the wilderness. Each time, Jesus defeated Satan by His commitment to God’s word.
Now when the devil had ended every temptation, he departed from Him until an opportune time.
Luke 4:13
Jesus resisted, and Satan left. But he didn’t leave forever. He went away and plotted. He waited for a more opportune time. Perhaps the moment you feel confident in your ability to resist porn is the more opportune time for Satan. Yes, God can free you from porn for good! But never let your guard down. Keep wearing the full armor of God. If you stopped watching certain shows or deleted certain apps to quit porn, don’t go back to them the moment you feel like you’re winning. Continually:
Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour.
1 Peter 5:8
And right before Peter gave this warning, he said:
Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time, casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you.
1 Peter 5:6–7
God cares for you. Your fellow Christians care for you. God wants the same thing you do: for you to be free from the shackles of sin. He wants you to be free from pornography.
Special thanks to Jonathan D. Harrison of Transform & Renew Mental Health Services.